Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Play Nice!

So the boys are home this week for spring break. The inevitable bickering has begun. I don't love it.

Sometimes I can ignore it and sometimes I need to step in. There is a fine line between harmless and somebody is gonna get hurt, know what I mean? Even the two-year-old got into the act yesterday. He threw a VHS tape at *E* because he wanted to watch something else on TV. Niiiice.

Nothing hurts my heart more than my boys behaving in a hurtful way. I know it's part of being human but I keep thinking if we set a good enough example....they won't do or say mean things. I guess part of it is accepting that I am human and don't always set a perfect example (NO, I am not throwing things at people when I get angry, but I do raise my voice. OK, OK..I can be a "yeller" sometimes. :) )

Now, don't get me wrong, they can be absolutely lovely to one another. Yesterday *J* took *N* outside to play catch. This morning *N* read *I* a book. I'm sure they've all done nice things in the past 24 hours but right now they're fighting over Bionicle pieces so I can't remember.

Speaking of fighting over toys..in our house, when they start fighting over toys they get a warning..."If you fight over it and cannot work it out without yelling and fighting, NO ONE plays with it." (I'm getting ready to take away all Legos/Bionicles as I type.)

The good part about the bickering (have to find a silver lining) is that it gives an opportunity for apology and forgiveness. Those are two things I try to regularly model for them. I have ample opportunities to apologize because I make a lot of mistakes and I am not afraid to admit when I am wrong. The boys also know that doing wrong means they need to apologize and ask forgiveness. I tell them that saying you're sorry also means acknowledging that you need to change the behavior. (That's a work in progress for us all.)

It's a good thing that we're all getting pretty good at forgiveness. :)


1 comment:

  1. I'm an apologizing mama as well and I think that's a wonderful thing. Raising our children to know that everybody messes up and you say sorry and you move on trying not to repeat the same mistakes!