Today is Friday. The last weekday of the boys' break. I wish I could say we've gone on adventures each day. I wish I could say I played games and laughed and was silly with them. Instead, this morning, I feel as though I have another week of wasted opportunities.
Fortunately, today is a new day. Hopefully once everyone is awake, I can embrace the day, take a deep breath and do something fun with my guys.
Yesterday, I was crabby. The day started off poorly when the Husband and I had words because I felt his tone was dismissive when I was trying to discuss something. That annoyance carried over through my day and I was snappish with the boys. (Another opportunity to apologize and ask forgiveness.)
After dinner *N* had baseball practice at 6 and *E* had practice at 6:45 at a different park so we had to split up. I took *N*, *C* and *I* came with me. *C* had designs on the playground but it was soooo crowded and I admit I get so stressed out over playground politics that I try to avoid crowded playgrounds. (I'm sure this hasn't helped our week go smoothly, they've been asking to go to a playground all week) Fortunately, this park has beautiful walking trails through the woods and *C* is my nature guy so we took a walk instead.
What a GREAT idea! We had the best time. We talked and saw squirrels and chipmunks and a hawk. *C* stopped us with his fingers to his lips...we could hear a woodpecker! My observant boy pointed out all sorts of interesting things. I didn't have my camera so I let him use my phone to take pictures. (I thought of getting him a camera for Christmas last year..it's definitely on the list for next year.) *I* loved it too and was very chatty about all that he saw.
This walk soothed my soul. I was feeling so frazzled and cranky and really taking all my blessings for granted, choosing instead, to focus on the worries, the "what ifs" and the irritations. Not a good way to walk through life. I definitely was not showing trust, faith or a cheerful spirit. Not a good example AT ALL.
Emerging from the woods was like a transformation. I felt like a new woman. The whole evening went better.
I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to spend some quiet time with *C* and *I*. I am so thankful that I was able to immerse myself in the beauty of creation. Yesterday is history. I cannot go back in time and erase the snapping. I can remember the happiness though. And today...today I can resolve to have an adventure and embrace the day with a positive attitude. Maybe I'll even feel brave enough to go to a playground. (Maybe....... or maybe we can take a nice walk through the woods.)