I have started writing a few times..spent a great deal of time on one "thingy" (that's my own technical jargon :P ) and then deleted it.
As the Lenten season draws to a close, and particularly after Maundy Thursday worship, I have been introspective. The whole season points us toward the Resurrection On Easter and yet, there is the need to acknowledge the pain and suffering of Good Friday.
The Husband and I had a conversation about my own personal guilt feelings (and no, I am no so old that I was personally there, calling for the crucifixion...) Considering the topic, it was a rather lighthearted convo. He's a good person to discuss these matters with, the Husband.
Anyhow...the crux (no pun intended) of the matter is that I recognize that in our salvation comes the freedom to act, to do, to be...and I feel this intense shortfall... in my own actions. And in the same vein a sense of powerlessness... I talk about baby steps, and I take them...or try to...but I'm left feeling like I have put a happy face sticker on a gaping wound.
Hello!!! It's not about you..Me. It's not about me..or you or any of us..really. I can do my best to be an example of God's love, God's hands and feet in this world in this time...but God..God's capable of doing anything with or without me...God can use me or work around me (if my sinful, free-willing self gets in the way).
That does NOT mean I should do nothing...it just means that because of God's undeserved love and favor..that crazy thing called GRACE..I'm free to do something, anything. (And if I choose not to, God can work around me to fulfill His plan.)
Jesus said, "Love God with your whole heart...Love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:30-31 paraphrased). The "motto" if you call it that, of the congregation where I'm a member adds, "Nothing else matters" to those two commands... And really...When I love God with all that I have and I love my neighbor (which is really much harder than Loving God..humans are so..human..yes, I recognize I am too) maybe, just maybe, I'm doing more than I thought...and maybe, just maybe it's better than a smiley face sticker...it's SOMETHING. Something that God first gave to me and to all of us, and its something to share, because we might not always be feeling the love. :)