Thursday, June 10, 2010

We've All Got It


Everybody's got it. Not just the material stuff (although here in the U.S. we can all admit to having lots of material stuff, right?)

I'm talking about the baggage, the history and the insecurities that shape who we are, how we respond and what makes us tick.

The other night I was chatting with some very cool ladies about our "stuff". No deep dark secrets, but in getting to know these women, there are things that surprised me...mostly because I know that I personally expect that these people wouldn't have the same type of "stuff" I have.

Does that make sense?

It's like this...I think these people won't have the same stuff, or history or baggage, because I see them as so different (and better, cooler, together) than me.

So you can see, I struggle with some insecurity and ummm feeling unworthy.

It's funny because I talk about grace and forgiveness a lot, but when I make a mistake or show bad judgement, I really stink at forgiving myself. So, if I said something stupid in High School and remember it, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. Really, I do.

Now, not everyone is going to admit to having any "stuff" and some people will judge because it's their nature. I cannot change that. I know that not everyone understands or agrees with me on everything, and I can assure you that I am not in agreement with other people on some things.

I will say it sure is liberating to realize that we each have struggles and insecurities. I said the other night, in my head I understand it, but in my heart I still struggle with the concept.

Maybe in the growth and nurturing of these authentic Christian relationships, my heart will trust my head. It takes a leap of faith and some trust to be open, to share the struggles and admit the failures. But in opening up, we have so many opportunities to love and to be loved.

May we all be open to being authentic and vulnerable; to loving and being loved; to welcoming and to nurturing.


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