Friday, June 4, 2010

No Vent...Content.

This morning, I typed out a long e-mail to a friend. I was venting about something because I knew she'd understand and be sympathetic. I guess I wanted her to agree with me or tell me she'd be upset too.

Then I deleted it.

Typing it was enough. I learned in my Counseling Techniques course that my feelings were valid whether someone else agreed with me or not simply because I was feeling them. (What I do in response to my feelings is where the potential for trouble lies.)

I decided I could make a big deal out of what bothered me, or I could do as I knew the Husband would suggest--accept the situation and the people involved where they are and move on. I only have control of my own actions and reactions so that's where my concern should lie.

Then I thought, maybe this is why the Husband and I have been happily married for almost 17 years...he can accept me where I am.

If I had sent that venting e-mail, I may have gotten some sympathy, but the negative emotions would have continued on. I wouldn't have let the negativity go or moved on and it really, in the end, wouldn't have made me feel better.

I didn't need validation, I needed to remember that everyone is human and that while someone might not behave in the way I want them to, it's not all about what I envision, is it?

Instead of venting when someone doesn't meet my expectations, I will try to remember how often I fall short of other's expectations. Especially how I consistently fall short of God's expectations...and God does not walk away, or vent, or stay angry. Instead God gives me another chance and a whole lot of grace.


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