Today the Husband and I "had words". He said, "It's because of people like you..."
Ouch. That hurt. Mostly because I know he's right.
So being a mature woman, I ranted a bit then I self-righteously gathered up our newspaper recycling and said,"Goodbye." I said I was dropping off the recycling and just going out.
So now I type on my iPod from Panera. (Talk about time consuming on this tiny touchpad. LOL)
The issue? I don't like waves except in the ocean. He proudly tells the story of being at Shea Stadium as a child with his grandfather and his grandfather reprimanding teenagers tossing their litter over the railing. Absolutely right thing to do. Speak up.
Here's the thing, I cringe a little. I mean what if...
So while I care deeply about people and about social injustice and about wrongs done, the truth is I am a mouse about speaking up or out. Whistleblower probably would not be my nickname.
Not exactly a shining example of evangelism or faith. Sigh.
And yet, in my life when I have felt unsupported, forgotten, unprotected and without a voice, how alone and forsaken I have felt. When others reach out, speak out and respond in love and faith, I feel God's love soothing my broken soul.
It is people like me, afraid and silent, who miss the opportunities to be His hands and feet on earth. It is people like me who allow hurt and pain and affliction to go unchecked.
My fear becomes my millstone and it is tied around my neck, preventing me from living fully for Him and His glory.
I guess this post today is something of a confession. I admit my fear and now try to find ways to face and conquer, to change.
Do you ever struggle with speaking up? Do you see it as prudent or problematic? I think there is a balance and one must use wisdom.
There are times when speaking up is appropriate and necessary and required.
Lord, I ask you for the strength and wisdom to do what is right and good, and to never hesitate to do what will glorify You.