Yesterday I was feeling a little overwhelmed. There was so much noise, not from the beasties, but the static of life in all it's glory, that I could not focus my attention on what mattered, or even figured out what it was that did matter.
I thought the problem was that I couldn't hear myself think.
I was ready to clear my plate of obligations. Instead of discernment, I was experiencing a little bit of fight or flight response. Fortunately, after some time, deep breathing, snuggles with the kiddos and prayer, I was able to refocus. The static was drowned out by the still, small voice as I listened to Him. I didn't need to hear myself. I was getting in my own way.
I like to repeat that quote, "Life is what happens when we're making other plans." There is a Yiddish saying, "Man plans, God laughs." Sometimes my plans don't work out the way I expect or plan. Sometimes, I do think God has a tremendous sense of humor....and timing. Sometimes I do not understand God's plan, but often, if I give it enough time, I can see a purpose and His blessing, even in the "unanswered prayers" of my own spoiled plans.
I do not need to clear my plate to hear, I need to clear my soul and tame my prideful heart. I need to focus not on myself, but on God.
Last night as I read Paul's letter to the Philippians, I came across this verse, "...Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (3:13b,14)
I will press on, focus on the future, not on myself and the noise I create in my own head but listening for the still small voice that will direct me. I guess God can be the ultimate white noise, drowning out the nonsense and bringing peace.