Choosing to be Full

Choices.

We all have them. Really.

Sometimes we might feel powerless in a situation, but there are lots of little choices in the midst of every situation, don't you think?

Even in a situation over which I feel I have no control, I can still control how I react. But most of the time, I have more control than I admit. I can say I have no time to read this week, but in reality I am choosing to do other things instead. Sometimes the other things are equal in value and it's choosing which 'good' thing I want to do. Other times, I choose to do something less fulfilling and then I regret the choice, but it is my choice to make. Mine all mine.

I am not a victim of circumstance, although sometimes people do things that impact my life more than I would like. I need to take responsibility and also recognize I want to me more intentional about the choices I make...and then follow through. And I want to react better when it's out of my control..with more grace and forgiveness.

If I want to lose weight but keep eating the "Little League" chocolate bars (which do call me from their box on the counter, by the way) I am making a choice which probably isn't going to help me achieve my goal. If I want to have time to read, I need to choose to read and that might mean choosing not to do something else. (Like stepping away from the television or facebook.) Sometimes achieving my goals means saying "no", even to my children. They will be productive and fulfilled even if they don't have a bunch of extracurriculars. I have to make those choices and someday they will have to make them too.

I can choose a full life, but I can choose it on my own terms. It can be full of things that fill me up and use my gifts and most importantly glorify God or I can fill it with things that I complain about and that I believe qualify me for sainthood. I don't think that when we are called to use our gifts we are to suffer like martyrs to do so. (OK, sometimes it's not all sweetness and roses, but it needn't be all pain and suffering and lamentation either.)

So today I decided that when I make a choice, I will try to do so consciously and work a little harder at trying to live without regret. (A pastor once suggested I make choices that would allow me to live with least regret, I guess he made an impression.)

I pray for the strength to make good choices and the wisdom to recognize that I have the choice to live a full life on my own terms, regardless of circumstances beyond my control. I cannot do it on my own, but with the help of a free-will giving God who strengthens me.

-Peace