I don't know about you, but when someone begins a sentence with the words, "No offense," I brace myself. I know that whatever follows is going to sting at least a little bit.
Yesterday after feeling oh so tech un-savvy with the computer I headed to the mall for a haircut and maybe a little shopping. I need, honestly, some new clothes. I have lots of maternity clothes but that phase of life is over so I am all about the regular clothes.
There was a time when I loved the mall. If texting were part of my life then I would have <3 it. After 45 minutes of wandering, I did text the husband. "Shopping for clothes make me want to cry." It wasn't trying things on and looking in a mirror that was so sad, it is that I just didn't see myself in the clothes I was seeing, and nothing even close in the petite department. (Have I mentioned I'm vertically challenged?)
After getting my haircut, which I love as usual when I go see my regular woman (I almost typed girl! gasp) I saw I had a voicemail from the Husband. I answered his question and then I asked him if he got my text and went on to ask, why does everyone working in the cool stores weigh about 80 pounds and look like they're twelve. He said, "They need to learn to eat and no offense hon, (Here it comes), but did you ever think maybe you're about 15 years too old for those stores?"
*Gasp* He did not just say that, did he? Yes, he certainly did. I wasn't angry and he didn't intend to be mean, but considering I know my own personal style he does not understand why I periodically go through this "maybe I should be more trendy" crisis.
I know some trendy fashionistas who carry it well. I admire them and sometimes I even envy them...and not just because they are skinny and I'm still sporting some extra baby pounds that may or may not go away. (The pounds make me struggle with buying clothes too, because I will lose this weight and then what. ;) )
I told him he was lucky I wasn't acting on my first impulse, heading into Coach and getting a new bag. ;) I might have heard him sigh in relief, but the mall was loud and I may have imagined it.
On the way home I cranked up the radio, sang along with Avril Lavigne and once again came to terms with being fabulous and 40. Not a trendy fashionista but a woman that favors madras and clogs, L.L. Bean and Lands End. That's just who I am. I'm partial to pinpoint oxfords, jeans and flats, cardigans and white T-s.
I realize that I need to be comfortable in my own skin and embrace who I am on the inside and out. I might not be as together as I want to seem. I may not be as tech savvy or hip as others. But, what is truly important is for me to be "right" on the inside and I think I am doing fairly well in that area, except when I let my superficial insecurities get the better of me.
May we all embrace what makes us who we are, on the inside and on the outside. We are uniquely and wonderfully made. Amen!