I went back to school this weekend.
I think it went well and yet, I feel the coming 2 1/2 years on my shoulders. There is nothing about the program or the people that troubles me. I can handle the work.
It's the car! The one I wrote about conquering. Yeah well, I got to school fine on Sunday morning but on the way home...Not. So. Much. I stalled the thing at a 4 way intersection and I am amazed by the patience of the people behind me because no one was laying on their horn. (Or maybe I was so flustered I was unable to hear?!) Seriously, I think I stalled it more than 5 yes FIVE times. If felt like I was there for an hour but it was probably under 60 seconds. (I hope. )
I did manage to get home even though I got stopped at Every. Stinking. Light. Four of them. And I did manage not to stall it then but I confess to squealing some tires in my freaked out state. I contemplated pulling into the Tim Hortons and calling the Husband to come rescue me. I decided that I was not a damsel in distress that needed to be rescued. My pride was the only injured party.
Do you find it as amazing as I do that I am not worried about the hours of reading and studying and writing in a master's level program or the cost and yet I was tossing and turning in bed last night worrying about driving that little zoom zoom again?
And speaking of my course of study, I am well aware that suggesting that perhaps we could trade this car in for a clunker with an automatic transmission was a form of avoidance. ;) (I did ask the Husband if he thought we could. I was only 1/2 joking.) Or perhaps worrying about driving the zoom zoom is my way of avoiding the real worry of whether I can actually do this.
Either way, I bet you can guess what I did in those moments of freak. I took a deep breath and prayed. I cannot remember what I said and I assure it was very short and to the point. Probably, "Little HELP!"
I pray that as each of us face new things, we can remember we are not alone. Some things might be easier or less demanding than others, but You are with us through it all. Thanks for that!