I went back to school this weekend.
I think it went well and yet, I feel the coming 2 1/2 years on my shoulders. There is nothing about the program or the people that troubles me. I can handle the work.
It's the car! The one I wrote about conquering. Yeah well, I got to school fine on Sunday morning but on the way home...Not. So. Much. I stalled the thing at a 4 way intersection and I am amazed by the patience of the people behind me because no one was laying on their horn. (Or maybe I was so flustered I was unable to hear?!) Seriously, I think I stalled it more than 5 yes FIVE times. If felt like I was there for an hour but it was probably under 60 seconds. (I hope. )
I did manage to get home even though I got stopped at Every. Stinking. Light. Four of them. And I did manage not to stall it then but I confess to squealing some tires in my freaked out state. I contemplated pulling into the Tim Hortons and calling the Husband to come rescue me. I decided that I was not a damsel in distress that needed to be rescued. My pride was the only injured party.
Do you find it as amazing as I do that I am not worried about the hours of reading and studying and writing in a master's level program or the cost and yet I was tossing and turning in bed last night worrying about driving that little zoom zoom again?
And speaking of my course of study, I am well aware that suggesting that perhaps we could trade this car in for a clunker with an automatic transmission was a form of avoidance. ;) (I did ask the Husband if he thought we could. I was only 1/2 joking.) Or perhaps worrying about driving the zoom zoom is my way of avoiding the real worry of whether I can actually do this.
Either way, I bet you can guess what I did in those moments of freak. I took a deep breath and prayed. I cannot remember what I said and I assure it was very short and to the point. Probably, "Little HELP!"
I pray that as each of us face new things, we can remember we are not alone. Some things might be easier or less demanding than others, but You are with us through it all. Thanks for that!
-Peace
So fun! Don't worry, you will get it...just keep practicing. When I was leaving for college, my step-dad offered to buy me a car. He worked a trade with a friend who owned a small side-of-the-road car lot (I think he traded some cows) in rural southwestern Virginia. The only thing on the lot that was not a huge boat clunker were 2 cute little cars--both manual transmission, which I knew I could not drive. I had my mom test drive it off the car lot for me. Once we disappeared around the corner out of sight, she hopped out and I tried driving it. I was awful. But it was the car I chose. It was the perfect car for a college student. When I left for college a couple weeks later I still wasn't much better. But I did get it eventually. By the time I met my husband I never wanted to let him drive because he would always pop the clutch or grind the gears. I once teased him and said, "I heard that the new cars next year are going to be made with rubber gears to prevent grinding" and he believed me! LOL No one new my car like I did. :) That car was scrapped 14 years ago and we have driven automatic transmission ever since. Recently I borrowed my father-in-law's new car with manual transmission. I thought to myself, "Oh in all these years, it must be much easier to drive a NEW car." Hahaha. I, too, stalled at a traffic light, squealed tires, popped the clutch, grinded some gears, and pretty much just hurt my pride. It is so funny to think of now...but I won't be asking to borrow it again anytime soon. :) You certainly have my sympathies!!! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat are you studying? Or maybe you posted that awhile back-- something in writing/jouralism? Or am I making that up? ;)
ReplyDeleteJulie
Julie, I'm studying Mental Health Counseling. I have a B.A. in journalism though. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, good luck! With the car. And the program. I'm sure you'll master both. :)
ReplyDeleteGrowing up we only had standards. I finally caved and got an automatic when the big ballerina was a baby. I was sooo upset to cave, but the car was a good deal so I gave in.
If the car you're driving is a fast car, though,I get how scary that can be. When my dad passed away my mom gave BSD his crazy, souped-up BMW with 6 speeds. I have to admit I get freaked out behind the wheel too. But after awhile, it gets f.u.n. :)