This morning, I was reading a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) newsletter discussing the theme for the coming year and I had a moment of clarity. Or perhaps it was conviction? Whatever it was, it gives me a new way of looking at my SOP, Standard Operating Procedure.
In the article, the author, Alexandra Kuykendall, writes about the MOPS theme of the coming year, Bold. Loving. Sensible.. She notes, "If we are sensible but lack boldness, our offers of help may go unnoticed."
One of my frustrations is that I feel as though I am discounted because I am perceived as timid or inactive. Perhaps I am lacking in boldness. I find that I err on the side of sensibility, thinking things through, mulling them over, working out the pros and cons. I want a complete picture before I speak. this means that sometimes I over think things.
Because I am afraid. Afraid to bite off more than I can chew. Afraid to suggest something that sounds foolish. Afraid to fail.
Sensibility is a good thing. Mostly. But it can also be a way of hiding. Sensibility can prevent me from thinking outside the box, from pushing the envelope, from being all that I am created to be.
I have written enough developmental autobiographies in grad school to be able to tell you where this comes from in my upbringing. It's my mother's fault, and my father's and my brother's and sister's...it's (almost) always the family's fault, just ask a family system's theorist. ;)
My goal is to find the balance between bold and aggressive; to assert myself nonconfrontationally. How do you tell someone they're stepping on your toes when you're all on the same team?
I guess you pray about it. Duh!
If I was more bold, I bet this wouldn't be an issue.
I've spent a long time hiding behind my cloak of
Praying that as we each grow into who we are created to be, that we can do it boldly, lovingly, sensibly.
In the words of Martin Luther, "...Sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly."
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