Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Be Bold

"Cuz it's been fear that ties me down to everything." Nichole Nordeman, Brave

This morning, I was reading a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) newsletter discussing the theme for the coming year and I had a moment of clarity. Or perhaps it was conviction? Whatever it was, it gives me a new way of looking at my SOP, Standard Operating Procedure.

In the article, the author, Alexandra Kuykendall, writes about the MOPS theme of the coming year, Bold. Loving. Sensible.. She notes, "If we are sensible but lack boldness, our offers of help may go unnoticed."

One of my frustrations is that I feel as though I am discounted because I am perceived as timid or inactive. Perhaps I am lacking in boldness. I find that I err on the side of sensibility, thinking things through, mulling them over, working out the pros and cons. I want a complete picture before I speak. this means that sometimes I over think things.

Because I am afraid. Afraid to bite off more than I can chew. Afraid to suggest something that sounds foolish. Afraid to fail.

Sensibility is a good thing. Mostly. But it can also be a way of hiding. Sensibility can prevent me from thinking outside the box, from pushing the envelope, from being all that I am created to be.

I have written enough developmental autobiographies in grad school to be able to tell you where this comes from in my upbringing. It's my mother's fault, and my father's and my brother's and sister's...it's (almost) always the family's fault, just ask a family system's theorist. ;)

My goal is to find the balance between bold and aggressive; to assert myself nonconfrontationally. How do you tell someone they're stepping on your toes when you're all on the same team?

I guess you pray about it. Duh!

If I was more bold, I bet this wouldn't be an issue.

I've spent a long time hiding behind my cloak of invisibility sensibility, now I need to get a little bolder. I don't need to tell anyone they're stepping on my toes, I just need to wear brighter shoes so they can see where my feet are. :)

Praying that as we each grow into who we are created to be, that we can do it boldly, lovingly, sensibly.

In the words of Martin Luther, "...Sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly."

-peace

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3 comments:

  1. I just need to wear brighter shoes so they can see where my feet are~

    resonating..profoundly.

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  2. You're right about the autobiographies in class part: It's all your fault Mom and Dad! I guess at some point we have to grow up though and take accountability for our faults. On the other hand, I'm discovering how to accept and love my downfalls, with grace, and try to remember to not be so hard on myself,
    whether I'm being overly timid (not usually a problem here!) or outspoken (pretty much the definition of who I am).

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  3. I take full responsibility for my actions, I just see how certain personality traits developed from my upbringing. I think realizing some of what we do is based on our past experiences and influences can inform how we move forward. I guess it's counselor heal thyself, right?! :D Accepting ourselves where we're at is a very good thing.

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