Thursday, May 5, 2011

Speaking the Language

What language fills your love tank...or as the ladies at my MOPS group prefer, love bank?

Yesterday our Mentor Mom spoke about the The Five Love Languages from the book by Gary Chapman. I have read skimmed the book before many times. The Husband is a big proponent of the book and I know his love language and I thought I knew mine.

But yesterday in the midst of the discussion I started to realize that maybe I didn't even know my own language. You see, I have always said that "Words of Affirmation" was my love language. I am insecure by nature so I need to hear those words. However, yesterday the niggling suspicion that perhaps I was mistaken got a little louder. You see, I hear the words and they take away some of my insecurity some of the time but I don't often believe or internalize the words. Instead I tend to discount the affirming words like they're deep-discount clearance items, but negative words or perceived attitudes, those get a huge mark-up.

I started to think and wonder and I even spoke with the Husband (he who says, "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.") and I resolved (I know, a resolution and it's not even December 31st!) to read the book and really pay attention this time. It won't be quick and I'm not setting a deadline. I am a student with required reading after all, but I am going to read for some new self-awareness.

I will chronicle my progress here. I'll share my thoughts along the way about myself and how I respond to others. (Because yes, it is all about me. ;) ) I think it will be interesting.

I did make one realization as I listened to our Mentor speak. I always felt like my father treated me a little like a fragile and helpless doll. He was always stepping in to do things for me. It used to frustrate me and make me feel he thought I was incompetent. Yesterday as I listened, my eyes filled with tears as I realized my dad's love language was "Acts of Service". Although he rarely said the words, "I love you," he showed them to me each and every day in ways large and small, I just couldn't see past my own ego to recognize he was motivated by love.

Gracious God, thank You for loving me in all times and places and languages. You are the only One who can fill my love bank all the way to overflowing. Help me to share love with others in the ways they need most by being attentive and aware. Lord, I pray that when people disappoint me by being human, I can be compassionate and forgiving as You give me compassion and forgiveness.


1 comment:

  1. I remember reading that book-- I can't remember what my LL is-- makes me want to read it again. Neat insight about your dad.