Monday, November 8, 2010

How Am I?

A friend asked me after reading my last entry..and I told her.

I bet she's sorry she asked because what she got was a list of my current stresses and worries. All those things I should just turn over to God I gushed to someone who probably wishes she didn't know now.

And I sort of wish she didn't too...but I also needed to "say" it to someone. Instead of doing the "Grin and life's great" I needed to list all of my worries and be more vulnerable than is comfortable because..I guess I didn't feel like glossing over it and it's so darned easy in an email...maybe because I don't have to hear myself saying the words and if I share the worries, that makes them a little more concrete.

Nothing horrible or anything...if I keep it in perspective so many more people have so much worse going on...but these are my feelings and my experiences and how I am doing is not always supposed to be held in relation to what another person is going through. I'm not in a "You think you've got it bad, listen to my troubles" contest.

But today, how I am doing is...kind of up and down and I guess I felt like sharing my stress. :P Hopefully it's not contagious.

As I finished up that email. Miss M needed to be fed. I sat on the couch feeding Miss M with *I* snuggled up next to me and in that time and space was peace and contentment and love. I was just present and it was, to use my friend's word, delightful.

How easy it was for me to get wrapped up in troubles and fears that may or may not become big problems and forget to embrace what is right here, right now and is good.

Thank You Lord, for taking on my burdens. Thank You for friends who listen and offer support. Thank You for the good things I so often take for granted because the tiniest troubles are often louder than some of the greatest blessings.


1 comment:

  1. I don't have any words of wisdom, just keep giving it to God! :)