I Cannot Believe It...

No. Seriously. I really can't.

Yesterday I went for my regular OB appointment. He decided to keep my due date at August 25th instead of moving to 9/2 as indicated by the ultrasound I had a few weeks ago, because he said it's "only seven days..we'll play it by ear." Fine.

Then he got out the Doppler to hear the heartbeat. And he tried and tried and finally he said, "There, do you hear it?" "No, but if you say so." (Mind you I was biting my lip and trying not to cry, because I most certainly did not hear it and I was a more than a little bit freaked out.) He said he did hear it but my heartbeat was so loud it made it difficult to distinguish it so he would send me next door for an ultrasound so I could hear it and he could get a better idea of heart rate.

The receptionist got them to "squeeze me in" an hour and a half later..a very long hour and a half. I was the only person there so I wonder if I was cutting into the lunch hour?

Anyway..got the heartbeat right away and she said the baby was moving around so much it would explain why the heartbeat was difficult to get on the Doppler. Tears of relief, let me tell you! So she looked around and I don't remember her exact words but she said something that led me to believe she could tell the gender. I quickly told her that if she could tell, please write it down so the Husband and I could find out together. She said, "OK." and moved on.

She then did lots of looking around, measuring and such. She asked if I was scheduled for a Level II U/S. She said that most patients of AMA (Advanced Maternal Age) get one and they are done at the hospital. My OB hadn't mentioned it...yet. She spent a lot of time measuring the head and even more time looking at the heart. She said the baby was moving around so much it was difficult to get good images...and I hope I'm just being a nervous Nellie, but I wasn't convinced she didn't see "something" that wasn't right.

We finished up and she said she'd leave my envelope at the desk. I called the Husband, told him we had a heartbeat and an envelope and headed home.

After 5 boys, I must tell you that I unfolded the paper saying, "You know it's going to say boy." It said, "It's a Girl!" with a smiley face. Shock and awe...that is an accurate description.

I want to call her and ask, "How sure are you?" (At my 15 week ultrasound she said she wasn't convinced it was a boy but she also said she will not say unless she's sure....) I am still not convinced. :) I don't have any pictures for "proof" and I just cannot believe it.

The boys were surprised. *E* is very excited because he has been saying he wanted a sister. He told me he "knew it was a girl." The other boys are happy, but *C* keeps saying, "What if we buy girl stuff and it's really a boy?" That's crossed my mind too.

That and, what if there's something wrong? She said she was sending the report over stat and I didn't hear from the Dr. yesterday but maybe I wouldn't? I'm not inviting trouble and I'm doing my best not to worry about problems that may not exist.

I am thankful that right now, we appear to have a healthy baby girl. I was a very girly girl. I still prefer wearing skirts and dresses and Oh My Gosh..I'm going to get to buy dresses and those cute patterned tights..and pink things. And I am scared too...because I understand being a mom to boys and I love my boys...and this girl thing is new. And she doesn't have a name yet because we'd only picked a name for a boy and we're having trouble agreeing. And maybe I'm afraid it's not a girl and I don't want to get my heart set on having a daughter.

Because you see, I'd really gotten used to the idea that I was going to be a mom of all boys (which is one of those conversation stoppers/starters ;) ) and hoped for daughters-in law that liked me and maybe some granddaughters to spoil..Someday. In the very. Distant. Future.

Thank you God, for blessing us with this precious baby, a gift from You. My heart overflows with love for these children. It is truly a privilege and an honor to be their mom.

-Peace