Friday, March 30, 2012

Walking in Worship

Worship.  My walk today was filled worship and thanksgiving, praise and gratitude.

The sky was a brilliant blue, the horizon rimmed with wispy clouds. It was brisk, though, and I almost turned around and went back to the momvan but decided to tuck my hands into the sleeves of my fleece  the Husband's fleece jacket and persevere...for at least one lap.

As I got out of my van and tucked my earbuds in, I decided I was in the mood for a little Chris Tomlin, "Our God".  I just love the strings in the intro and it reminds me of some talented musicians I know and that makes me smile.  The song also reminds me of worship at both the MOPS International convention and the Women of Faith event I attended last fall.  (Both are wonderful opportunities for growth and renewal.  If you can go, please do!  I wish I could swing the trip to MOPS convention again this year.)

Into the darkness you shine.  Out of the ashes we rise. There's no one like You.  None like You. ...Our God is healer, awesome in power... 

I've been thinking a lot about how we rise from the ashes. I've also found a lot of comfort in the belief that God is a healer in our hearts and souls and minds.  Healing comes in so many ways.

Laura Story's Blessings shuffled through the mix.  As I started listening I looked to the sky and said, "Thank You!"  I was reminded as I heard the opening notes that I had prayed some passionate prayers last night as I went to sleep and that I had already seen His hand at work in response.  Amen! Thank you, Jesus for your blessings.

So I will confess, I might have been singing along out loud in public.  Whoops.  All the while, you hear each spoken need, yet love us way too much to give us lesser things. (Cue teary eyes...and not because the wind was very brisk.)

As I walked, I reflected on how I had experienced the lyrics in vibrant technicolor in the past week.  I thought about how these words could bring comfort to my sweet friend if she was in the "right place" to hear them. How would you find mercies in these trials she is going through?  We can't always see that as possible, can we?  We're looking through our human eyes and not through the lens of God's promises

Other songs shuffled through and after 45 minutes I was headed back to the momvan when this came on: Careless.  I am reckless.  I'm a wrong-way travelling, slowly unraveling shell of a man.  Burnt out.  I'm so numb now that the fire's just an ember way down in the corner of my cold, cold heart.  Lord, this time, I'll make it right, here at the alter I lay my life.  Your kingdom come but my will was done, my heart is broken as I cry.  Like so many times before but my eyes are dry before I leave the floor. Oh Lord, I try but this time, Jesus How can I be sure I will not lose my follow-through between the alter and the door? (Casting Crowns)

That, folks, is the story of the last 6 months or so of my life.  I find myself on fire for His purpose and then... I lose my follow through.   

I arrived back home renewed and restored unlike the last time I walked through that park.  This morning I vowed to follow through and to seek out His will and not my own.  How that will shake out remains to be seen.  I guess I can just try to remain open to His voice.


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