The weather was GORGEOUS this morning. In fact it still is. I went for my walk/run in the park and the weather could not have been more glorious, the tunes on my ipod were just as spunky as always and yet...with each step the feeling of anxiety and unrest grew.
When I got home and the Husband asked how my walk was, I responded, "Okay, I just feel like something is off." I explained how I had this feeling of foreboding, a feeling that reminded me of the day my mom died, when I knew something was wrong but couldn't place it. The Husband reminded me that I have had that feeling before without it meaning anything other than that I was feeling anxious for no particular reason.
He is right, of course. Just because I get a feeling that something is off or wrong, it doesn't mean that my feelings are justified.
Then this afternoon I learned that the friend I wrote about here and here had lost the battle. Sadness filled me, replacing the angst over unknowns with realities that break my heart.
I know that we all walk on this earth temporarily and leave our marks for an eternity in ways we may never comprehend. We all have a purpose and a place and a season. It is not easy to accept the limits placed upon our existence, but it is part of humanity. Ecclesiastes 3:20 ...All come from dust, and to dust all return. This is not our home. I just wish people didn't have to leave...and those left behind did not have to ache in the loss.
Wishing you peace and love and comfort in your sorrows as well as your joy.